Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
