You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
