i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize