I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
being pregnant is like rehab
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
