Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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