just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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