I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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