he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My vagina is very pro this idea
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
