Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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