hotel room ftw
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
