What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
