I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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