Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
