I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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