Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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