First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
