i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
