I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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