I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize