If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
