Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
