therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
