If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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