I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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