I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
