they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
