This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
