Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So vagazzling was a success
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
