I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
