i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
