There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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