is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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