Betty ford says i'm here all night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
