a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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