i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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