and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
