My room smells like vodka and shame
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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