You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
