I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
