I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
