He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
