Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize