Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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