Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
