I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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