I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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