Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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