The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
so much tequila, so little girl.
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