I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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