So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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