I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
