Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
