We're like a lot better than the average bears
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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