Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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