Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
