dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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