She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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