i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
