Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
