Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
