He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
