did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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