Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
